This if for those of you who weren't able to be there or anyone who just wanted to read it!
Why I Decided
to Serve a Mission
I
can’t even believe I’m finally to this point! It’s crazy how fast time has gone
by, but I have loved every minute of it! I’m even kinda excited to speak you
all J
As
most of you know I will be serving in the Oregon Eugene Mission and I leave
this Wednesday for the Provo MTC. A lot of people have asked if I am
disappointed I’m only serving a little over 700 miles away instead of someplace
exotic, and ONLY speaking English. It’s a fair question, and even when I tell
them I’m not, they’re disappointed for me. Kinda silly. This is why I’ve
decided to tell you all why I have decided to serve!
Deciding to serve, as a girl, is
somewhat difficult. We know that men are expected to if their circumstances
allow it, but for girls it’s pretty much up to us and the Lord. When I was
younger I would think about serving, but mostly as a passing thought which I
guarantee many sisters have thought such as, “Maybe if I’m not married by the
time I’m 21, I’ll go on a mission.” Or “Depends on my schooling and job situation.”
But as many know that time frame got 2 years smaller when President Monson said
sisters can go at 19. That made me really think about life and what I wanted to
do with it. I think I decided half a million times on serving, and another half
a million on not serving. I prayed and prayed and prayed some more and I just
wanted a clear out answer of YES or NO. But that’s not how prayer works. Our
loving Father in Heaven gave us the ability to choose and I was trying to take
away my own agency in a sense by asking that of Him. So I decided I would take
mission prep my senior year and see if that gave me a clear answer. I still
kept on deciding over and over. I tried
to get in the habit of attending the temple regularly, so some of my dear
friends and I would go as often as possible. I had so many great experiences
with doing these things, but I realized it was still going to be up to me. I
had lots of great advice from people very dear to me, and so I kept it in mind and last summer I was
constantly trying to find things that would help me decide. Finally, I watched
the District. If you’ve never heard of it, it is probably the only “reality”
show worth anyone’s time. It is of real missionaries teaching real people and
doing all those great things we know missionaries do. While watching it, I was
filled with love for the people that don’t know what I do. The Spirit spoke to
my heart and it wasn’t as much of the question of whether I should serve or
not, it was whether I WANTED to or not.
Even after that, I didn’t tell
hardly anyone that my plans were to go on a mission. I didn’t want to jinx it J
so I kept it mostly to myself, and went to a semester of college. I had a hard
time a college, and it was a huge learning experience for me, and strengthened
my resolve to serve the Lord first. So I deferred from school until I will get
back from my mission, and I worked to save some money. I took mission prep
again and turned in my papers. It has all been a whirlwind since then!
As
I’ve reflected on it I realized there were a few massive components to my
decision: my agency, the Atonement, and eternity.
Going
along with agency I’ve looked at *this* in my room for some time now. I have
kept it since I was in Primary and if one of you out there was the teacher that
gave it to me, thank you! I have kept it because I always thought about
serving, even if it wasn’t a resolute decision. Some of you might have seen me
wearing it a couple of weeks ago to match my primary class. During my last
lesson I decided to give my kids a “Future Missionary” tag. And we all wore
them together. The thing about these that makes them so special is that the
name of the person serving is right next to the name of our Savior, Jesus
Christ. This is Christ’s restored Gospel on the Earth today. When someone is
set apart to serve Him, they also get to serve alongside Him. In Doctrine and
Covenants 84:88 it says; “And whoso receiveth you, there I will
be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and
on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and
mine angels round about you, to bear you up.” I don’t have to do this
alone! That’s why Heavenly Father put His trust in me. He knows I can do it,
especially since I won’t have to do it alone. One night when I was reading my
patriarchal blessing I gained a spiritual insight that has changed my
perspective. It talks about following the Spirit when it comes to service. I
realized Heavenly Father just wants me to follow the Spirit and I’ll be able to
serve those who need me. I even ran up to my mom’s room in the middle of the
night just to tell her about it I was so excited! J
Also, the
Atonement. Jesus Christ is my Savior. I know it. He has made it possible for me
to be forgiven, to have a broken heart healed, and to genuinely have faith. I
remember a talk given by a past young womens leader where she talked about a
book she read saying that Christ most likely pictured each and every one of us
while He bled at every pore and hung on the cross. That is a big deal to me. He
knows me? He cares about me? If He could do that can’t I tell other people
about His Gospel? A few months ago I came across this poem written by an Elder
serving in Texas it is titled “He’s been there before” “The Alarm bell rings at 6:30, I stumble to my feet
I grab my companions bedding and pull off his sheets
A groan fills the room, is it already time to rise?
It seems like just a second ago I was able to shut my eyes.
The morning activities follow- study, prayer and such
When it’s time to leave the apartment, you feel you haven’t accomplished much
“We have a super day planned,”
My comp. says with a grin
I lowly utter a faithless breath,
“Yeah, if anyone lets us in.”
With the word of God and my faithful Schwinn, we ride off in the street
Prepared to face another day of humidity and heat
It’s 9:30 in the evening, the day is almost through
My companion and I are riding home not accomplishing what we thought to do
We ride up to the mailbox, hoping to receive a lot
Only to look inside and hear my echo reverberate “air Box”
We go up to our apartment, the day is now complete
The only thing to show for our work is a case of blistery feet
It’s past 10:30 p.m. My companion is fast asleep,
Silence engulfs me all about and I begin to weep
In the midst of sadness, I kneel down to pray
I need to talk to Father, but I’m not sure what to say
“Oh, Father” I begin, “What happened to us today?
I thought we’d teach somebody, but everyone was away
My hands, my aching hands- worn, hurt and beat;
If our area was any smaller, we’d have knocked every street”
“Why on missions are the days so much alike?
The only difference about today was the flat tire on my bike
Will you send some cooler weather? The heat is killing me
I sweat so bad, it gets in my eyes, it’s very hard to see”
“Why do I have to wear a helmet, isn’t your protection enough?
People always laugh at me, and call me stupid stuff
Please send us investigators so I may give them what they lack
I want to give them Books of Mormon, the weight of them hurts my back”
“And what about my family: They don’t have much to say
I’m sick of not hearing from home day after day after day
Oh Father, Why am I here am I just wasting time?
Sometimes I just want to go home, I’m sorry but that’s on my mind”
“My companion, Heavenly Father, what are you giving me?”
The way he rides his bicycle, I don’t think he can see
Now you have it, I can’t go on, I don’t know what to do
That, my Father in Heaven, is the prayer I have for you”
My prayer now finished, I stand up, then jump right into bed
I need my rest for tomorrow, we have another long day ahead
Sleep starts to overtake me, I seem to drift away
Then it seems a vision takes me to another time in another day
I’m standing alone on the hill. The view is very nice
A man walks towards me and says, “My name is Jesus Christ”
Tears of joy well up inside, I fall down to His feet
“Arise,” He states, “Follow me to the shade. You and I need to speak”
My attention’s towards my Savior, total and complete
He says, “Your mission is similar of what happened to me
I understand how you feel, I know what you’re going through
In fact, it would be fair to say I’ve felt the same as you”
“I even know how you felt when no one listened to you
At times I felt not quite sure what else I could do
I know you don’t like to ride a bicycle, for you a car would be sweet
Just remember the donkey I rode wasn’t equipped with 21 speeds”
“I understand you don’t like sweating, in fact it’s something you hate
I remember when I sweat blood from ev’ry pore, oh the agony was great!
I see you don’t like your companion - you’d rather have someone else-
I once had a companion named Judas who sold my life for wealth”
“It’s hard to wear a helmet and have people make fun of you
I remember when they put thorns on my head and called me King of the Jews
So you feel burdened down by the weight of your pack
I recall how heavy the cross was when they slammed it on my back”
“Your hands hurt from tracting and knocking on doors all day
I guess when they pounded nails into mine, I ached in a similar way
It’s hard not to hear from home when your family’s not there to see
I lost communication on the cross and cried, “Father, why hast Thou forsaken me?”
“We have a lot in common, but there’s a difference between us you see
I endured to the end and finished my mission, so follow and do like me”
He embraced me with His arms and His light filled me with His love
With tears in my eyes I watched as He went back to the Father above
I stood with awe and wonder when a beep rang in my head
I listened and heard the alarm, then realized I was in my bed
My companion let out a groan, “6:30 already, no way!”
I sat up and said, “Come on, I’ll even carry your scriptures today!”
I grab my companions bedding and pull off his sheets
A groan fills the room, is it already time to rise?
It seems like just a second ago I was able to shut my eyes.
The morning activities follow- study, prayer and such
When it’s time to leave the apartment, you feel you haven’t accomplished much
“We have a super day planned,”
My comp. says with a grin
I lowly utter a faithless breath,
“Yeah, if anyone lets us in.”
With the word of God and my faithful Schwinn, we ride off in the street
Prepared to face another day of humidity and heat
It’s 9:30 in the evening, the day is almost through
My companion and I are riding home not accomplishing what we thought to do
We ride up to the mailbox, hoping to receive a lot
Only to look inside and hear my echo reverberate “air Box”
We go up to our apartment, the day is now complete
The only thing to show for our work is a case of blistery feet
It’s past 10:30 p.m. My companion is fast asleep,
Silence engulfs me all about and I begin to weep
In the midst of sadness, I kneel down to pray
I need to talk to Father, but I’m not sure what to say
“Oh, Father” I begin, “What happened to us today?
I thought we’d teach somebody, but everyone was away
My hands, my aching hands- worn, hurt and beat;
If our area was any smaller, we’d have knocked every street”
“Why on missions are the days so much alike?
The only difference about today was the flat tire on my bike
Will you send some cooler weather? The heat is killing me
I sweat so bad, it gets in my eyes, it’s very hard to see”
“Why do I have to wear a helmet, isn’t your protection enough?
People always laugh at me, and call me stupid stuff
Please send us investigators so I may give them what they lack
I want to give them Books of Mormon, the weight of them hurts my back”
“And what about my family: They don’t have much to say
I’m sick of not hearing from home day after day after day
Oh Father, Why am I here am I just wasting time?
Sometimes I just want to go home, I’m sorry but that’s on my mind”
“My companion, Heavenly Father, what are you giving me?”
The way he rides his bicycle, I don’t think he can see
Now you have it, I can’t go on, I don’t know what to do
That, my Father in Heaven, is the prayer I have for you”
My prayer now finished, I stand up, then jump right into bed
I need my rest for tomorrow, we have another long day ahead
Sleep starts to overtake me, I seem to drift away
Then it seems a vision takes me to another time in another day
I’m standing alone on the hill. The view is very nice
A man walks towards me and says, “My name is Jesus Christ”
Tears of joy well up inside, I fall down to His feet
“Arise,” He states, “Follow me to the shade. You and I need to speak”
My attention’s towards my Savior, total and complete
He says, “Your mission is similar of what happened to me
I understand how you feel, I know what you’re going through
In fact, it would be fair to say I’ve felt the same as you”
“I even know how you felt when no one listened to you
At times I felt not quite sure what else I could do
I know you don’t like to ride a bicycle, for you a car would be sweet
Just remember the donkey I rode wasn’t equipped with 21 speeds”
“I understand you don’t like sweating, in fact it’s something you hate
I remember when I sweat blood from ev’ry pore, oh the agony was great!
I see you don’t like your companion - you’d rather have someone else-
I once had a companion named Judas who sold my life for wealth”
“It’s hard to wear a helmet and have people make fun of you
I remember when they put thorns on my head and called me King of the Jews
So you feel burdened down by the weight of your pack
I recall how heavy the cross was when they slammed it on my back”
“Your hands hurt from tracting and knocking on doors all day
I guess when they pounded nails into mine, I ached in a similar way
It’s hard not to hear from home when your family’s not there to see
I lost communication on the cross and cried, “Father, why hast Thou forsaken me?”
“We have a lot in common, but there’s a difference between us you see
I endured to the end and finished my mission, so follow and do like me”
He embraced me with His arms and His light filled me with His love
With tears in my eyes I watched as He went back to the Father above
I stood with awe and wonder when a beep rang in my head
I listened and heard the alarm, then realized I was in my bed
My companion let out a groan, “6:30 already, no way!”
I sat up and said, “Come on, I’ll even carry your scriptures today!”
No matter what we go through,
when we feel we can’t take more
Just stop and think about Jesus Christ,
He’s been there before."
I’ve had many
trials in my life, and I know that a mission will not be a walk in the park. It
will be difficult, and I’m sure some days I’ll feel like the missionary in this
poem, but the Savior has been there before. Another great reminder of the
Atonement is this analogy; "A basketball in my hands is worth about $20. A
basketball in the hands of LeBron James is worth $19 million per year; it
depends on whose hands its in. A tennis racket in my hands is worth about
$17.00. A tennis racket in the hands of Serena Williams is worth about $20
million per year; it depends on whose hands its in. A baseball in my hands is
worth about $3.00. A baseball in the hands of Derek Jeter is worth about $35
million per year; It depends on whose hands its in. Two fish and 5 loaves of
bread in my hands would make a few fish sandwiches. Two fish and 5 loaves of
bread in the Savior's hands will feed 5,000 people until they’re full, and
still have 12 baskets leftover; It depends on whose hands they’re in. Some
nails in my hands are worth about 5 cents. Some nails in the Savior's hands
will provide eternal salvation for each person who has lived on this earth, And
for all of Heavenly Father's children. It depends on whose hands they're in. When
we put our lives in the hands of the savior we can achieve infinitely more than
we ever could on our own. It depends on whose hands they are in." He’s healed me many times, and He will
continue to in my mission. I want my life to be in His hands.
The last component for my decision was
Eternity. A couple of years ago I was going through a really rough spot. I was
talking to one of my closest friends on the phone crying and my heart just
ached. We were talking about families being sealed together forever, and I
expressed that was what I want more than anything in this life. He told me that
I deserve it, who doesn’t? And I felt better, but then I realized, I don’t just
want this for myself and my family, I want it for everyone. I want other people
to know that families don’t have to be “till death do we part” I want them to
know that a core element of Heavenly Father’s plan for us is that we can be
together forever through the holy promises we make with Him in the temple. In
the temple, The House of the Lord, the sense of Eternity is enormous!
Everything we do there, the sacred covenants we enter into for ourselves and on
the behalf of those that have passed before us, is of eternal value. I want and
wish and pray that everyone can feel what my heart has felt in the temple! It’s
quite literally the best! J
Truly, the answer to how I feel
about serving 700 miles away, the state next-door, is I am honored. I am
excited. I am nervous. I am filled with love and compassion. And I am thankful
to my Father in Heaven that He would trust me with this great work. One little
bit of my testimony on missionary work is mentioned in this, It is called the
Fellowship of the Unashamed by Bob Morehead. “ I am part of the fellowship of
the unashamed. The dye has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The
decision has been made. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won’t look back, let
up, slow down, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my
future is secure. I am finished and done with low living, small planning,
smooth knees, color-less dreams, tamed visions, worldly talking, cheap giving,
and dwarfed goals. I no longer need pre-eminence, positions, promotions,
plaudits, or popularity. I don’t have to be right, first, recognized, praised,
regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk with
patience, am uplifted by prayer, and labor with power. My face is set, my gait
is fast, my goal is Heaven. My road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions
are few, my guide is reliable, my mission is clear. I cannot be bought,
compromised, detoured, lured away, divided, or delayed. I wil not flinch in the
face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiaite at the
table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of
mediocrity. I won’t give up, shut up, or let up until I have stayed up, stored
up, and paid up for the cause of Christ. I must go till He comes, give till I
drop, preach till all know, and work till He stops me. And when He returns for
His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My banner will be clear.”
***TESTIFY***
